NOV 1 — MCA’s larger crisis, no small thing considering the ongoing hydra-headed leadership wrangle, is that the Chinese community no longer cares who wins and, ultimately, what happens to the party as a whole.

It’s a fair assumption to make, given how far removed politicians can be from their communities. Once every four or five years, they reappear pretending to be your best friend and neighbour, as though a handshake and photo-op makes up for years of absence. They don’t seem to care about us, so why should we care about them?

Although you might think MCA is unaware of this pressing issue, I personally believe they’re more than just cognisant of the fact; they’ve already launched a full-blown campaign to reconnect with their constituencies in an insidious and, to be honest, absolutely brilliant masterstroke.

Sex, money, power, deceit, betrayal, alliances forged, broken, forged again. The thrill of elections, a contest too close to call, the heartbreak of defeat, the promise of redemption. A peace plan brokered, then scuppered. A cliff-hanger ending.

It’s true, it’s true. MCA, having lost a direct line to the Chinese community, is worming its way back into the hearts and minds of their constituents by turning the lives of the politicians into, yes, a Chinese serial.

If you think I’m kidding, all it takes is a few minutes spent with Chinese homemakers and retirees, who while away the languid hours between Chinese serials by, well, talking about Chinese serials. Now, instead of pining for their next TVB fix, they eagerly await the next juicy morsel to come out of the sordid affair that is the MCA power struggle.

Some debate whether Ong Tee Keat is victim or perpetrator. Others are locked in discourse over the false alliances and double-crosses. A few delve deeper, looking for the “hidden hands”. And of course, there are some who are still engrossed with Chua Soi Lek’s 2007 DVD.

You have to hand it to whichever genius that thought up this strategy; he or she took a leaf right out of Saatchi and Saatchi’s 2001 “Playing Catch” advertisement for the Toyota Unser. The medium, as they say, is the message.

That particular ad was successful because it struck such a familiar chord with its intended viewers, speaking to them in a way they know and love. So many years on, it’s still fondly remembered. (Though that may be more an indictment of the current state of advertising in Malaysia than anything else.)

Whatever it is, this part of the Chinese community has once again become invested in the travails of MCA. They know the players, they follow the plots, and they hunger for the eventual outcome. Frankly, I’ve never seen my in-laws as excited about watching the news since, why, practically never.

I don’t know how much the whole effort goes towards recapturing the hearts and minds of the Chinese community, to recapture the vote that MCA has lost and Umno is so anxious for them to deliver. If you subscribe to the adage of “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”, then you’d feel having MCA drummed repeatedly into your skull is no bad thing.

There are those who think that, having all but established an outdoor laundry for their dirty linen, MCA is still digging away despite having hit rock bottom. Personally, I’d wholeheartedly give them my vote any chance I get, for nothing else than to make sure they stick around to serve up episode after episode of shocks and scandals. Why would anyone want clean, boring politicians?

As such, I doff my hat to MCA and thank them for making their lives so interesting. I thank them for bringing intrigue back into politics. And I thank them for providing enough salacious fodder that there are days when a single serving of news is enough to keep TVB off my satellite TV decoder.

Who knows, if they keep this up long enough I might even be able to sneak the Dynasty package out of my Astro subscription without anyone being the wiser. And if that’s not reason enough to give them my vote, I don’t know what is.